Can you spot the differences between the following two sentences?
- “Hello, I will be in attendance at tomorrow’s meeting—Thank you.”
- “Hey, yep I’ll be @ the meeting—Thanks!”
They convey the same information, but do they say the same thing? Tone in the workplace is one of those things that means something different to every employee at every company at different points in time.
Here, All Printing Resources’ (APR) Tessa Libby (technical sales representative), Ashley Cash (technical sales, business development)—both members of the FTA Emerging Leaders Committee—and Tim Reece, (Technical Solutions Group manager) discuss with FLEXO Magazine the age-old idea of “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.”
FLEXO Magazine: Tessa and Ashley: How do you approach a project or task that requires you to work with someone from an older generation? Is there anything you do differently—good or bad—versus if you’re working with someone from your generation?
Tessa Libby: It really comes down to effective communication and learning how each individual person best communicates. While that can often be grouped by generation (a phone call with someone from an older generation vs an email/text/Slack conversation with someone from my generation or younger), that’s not always the case.
Since I’m not in an office with all my coworkers and customers—I work remotely—most of the communication I do on a daily basis is not face to face. I have to determine the best method of communication for each person based on their unique personality. I have found there are several people I routinely communicate with who are from an older generation and actually respond better to an email or text. Likewise, I have also communicated with people from younger generations who prefer a phone call.
It can be a good start to err on the side of caution when first communicating with someone, and ultimately adapt to how that specific person is most responsive and communicative.
Ashley Cash: I notice I use different phrases and jokes when I speak with peers my own age versus colleagues who are older than me. For some reason, I feel the need to be more professional sounding when communicating with older generations. My desire to sound more professional to them may be born from the fear of being seen as under-experienced—I strongly value the opinions of the older generations in the industry. Younger workers, especially millennials, strive for more fun and light-heartedness in the workplace. As a result, my emails are formulated in a more casual tone when communicating with peers who are my own age. I may even insert an emoji or slang into an email sent to a younger peer.
FLEXO: Tim, do you find any urge—subconscious or intentional—to adjust your tone or communication channels depending on whom you’re working with?
Tim Reece: There is nothing subconscious about how I adjust my tone or method of communication based on different personalities or generations; it is 100 percent intentional. Taking into consideration who I am communicating with, their preferred method of communication, and adjusting my tone to achieve the best possible outcome at the speed of a supercomputer isn’t always “my default” by nature. Sometimes, I press pause before responding.
Going from a TSG (Technical Solutions Group) team member to TSG manager, I quickly realized that it was essential I understood what was important to the individuals in the group, personally and professionally, and therefore understand what motivates their behavior and actions. Regardless of whether or not there is a generational gap, understanding a person’s values is an important part of communication.
People often gravitate to others like themselves—people with the same interests, or who share the same skills. Spanning the generational gap in business, we can easily be pulled into an area that we are less familiar. That only accentuates the importance of the tone of our communication. Ultimately that tone is built on a foundation of trust, commitment and loyalty. The tone in which we communicate or react with one another can be as important as the message itself. An encouraging tone makes conflict more of a choice versus a reaction.
When working with younger, talented, industry professionals, I find myself adjusting my tone from being too serious. That’s not to say they aren’t serious about their job, but it’s their creativity and freedom that allows them to function at a high level. I find that a more technical, cold response can lead to them tuning out which compromises productivity.
FLEXO: Ashley and Tessa, do you think younger workers appreciate what Tim’s talking about with his comments about tone? Do you think that can come off as pandering or inadvertently talking down to younger workers?
Libby: I can appreciate what you’re saying about tone, Tim, but, I think it comes down to not a generational difference but more of a personality difference. I can understand adjusting your tone away from being too serious for a certain type of person, as you get to learn their personality type. But I don’t think it is fair to adjust your tone to be less serious when communicating with any and all industry professionals who are younger, as this can easily (and likely unintentionally) be misconstrued as being talked down to.
As one of the members of one of the younger generations in this conversation, I can say that I would feel I wasn’t being taken seriously as a professional and this tactic would have an adverse effect on me.
Reece: Ashley’s comment about younger generations, especially millennials, strive for more fun and light-heartedness in the workplace is something that I would generally agree with and certainly influences my tone. I feel that adjusting tone away from being too serious is different than talking down to a person.
Tessa’s thoughts about adjusting tone to different personality types are spot on. Forming stereotypes by assuming anything about a person’s traits, based on the generation they are a part of, is not fair. But when you were born does affect how you grew up, which does have an effect on your perspective and personality. Technology and ever-changing/developing social values play a role in this equation.
“There is nothing subconscious about how I adjust my tone or method of communication based on different personalities or generations; it is 100 percent intentional.”
Libby: It makes sense that Ashley and I may have different opinions on this because we have different personality types. (Don’t get me wrong, Ashley is one of my good friends and one of my favorite people to work with!)
But to my point exactly, even though we are the same generation and same age group, I think the two of us have different personality types and therefore different preferences for communication. I think it would be fair to say that Ashley would be more prone to having a lighthearted conversation with a customer via texting, whereas I would be more prone to have a more serious conversation via email. Ash, would you agree?
Cash: Pondering Tim and Tessa’s comments, honestly, I can agree with both of them. It is human nature to adjust our behavior based on our surroundings, and that includes our tone. It is safe to assume that millennials, as a whole, are open to a more casual style of communication. It may not be fair to assume the opposite—that older generations prefer more professional and dry conversations—but younger workers have historically approached communication with their older peers by leading with a very professional tone. In most cases, I would assume it’s out of respect. Personally, I wouldn’t be offended by a veteran worker approaching me and using a more casual tone. I read body language more than tone and I recognize respect in the kind of questions I am being asked.
Tessa, you are correct when you describe our different communication styles. In some cases, I communicate in an extremely casual way with many of my customers. Many customers consider it a breath of fresh air to do business with a friend. I’ve been told that because of my casual approach, they look forward to seeing me and don’t consider my sales visits a burden. When I think about it, I don’t see a trend in age when it comes to which customers I have these friendly and casual relationships with.
There’s no right or wrong, per se, and that’s especially true when you consider our roles: Sales representatives benefit strongly from their ability to gauge what each customer needs from them. Some customers’ personalities require me to be very direct and professional. It’s part of my job to recognize the needs of my customers and display the style of communication that best fits their needs.